Said with Love: Are Your Parents Actually Ready for Aged Care

If your elderly mum or dad seem to be struggling to manage at home, it might be time to have a difficult but necessary conversation about aged care. Initiating this discussion can be daunting, but it’s crucial for their well-being. Here are a few questions you can ask to get the conversation started and help your parents consider their options.

1. “How is your social life? Are you seeing family and friends as much as you’d like?”

Loneliness can significantly impact your parent’s mental and physical health. Isolation not only increases the risk of anxiety and depression but also heightens the chances of developing conditions like high blood pressure, heart disease, and a weakened immune system.

If your parent is no longer socialising or pursuing their hobbies, it’s important to understand why. Perhaps they still desire social interaction but need a bit of encouragement. In such cases, the solution might involve offering transportation to appointments, helping them join local hobby groups, or simply visiting more often.

If they’re seeking a more vibrant community atmosphere, consider discussing residential aged care options. While it’s a significant change, it could offer them the chance to connect with new people, enjoy regular outings, and engage in enriching activities.

2. “Do you have any concerns around your health?”

Asking about health can be confronting, but it’s essential for understanding your parent’s needs. Discuss any existing health conditions, medications, and their preferences for care if they were to become seriously ill.

The conversation can also touch on any safety concerns they may have about living at home. Many elderly people prefer to stay in their own homes but worry about the risks of injury due to frailty or mobility issues. Fortunately, there are many ways to make their home safer, such as installing non-slip strips in the bathroom, grab bars, and ramps.

Addressing these concerns can help your parent realise that some form of aged care might be necessary, whether it’s making their home more accessible or considering more comprehensive support.

3. “How are you managing cooking, cleaning, and personal care?”

You may not need to ask outright to gauge how your parents are coping with household tasks and personal care. Neglect of their home, hygiene, or appearance will likely be noticeable. However, even if there aren’t any obvious signs, it’s worth discussing to ensure they’re not struggling in silence.

If their needs are manageable, consider organizing family members to help with tasks like shopping and meal preparation. But if your schedules don’t allow for this or their needs exceed what you can provide, it might be time to explore professional assistance.

Setting the Scene for the Conversation

Starting a conversation about aged care can stir up emotions like stress, guilt, and uncertainty. If your parents feel their dignity or independence is threatened, they may deny needing any help. This is why it’s essential to approach the topic sooner rather than later. By planting the seed early, you can help them come to terms with their changing needs and become more open to assistance.

If they’re resistant to the idea of residential aged care, try to address their fears by arranging a tour of a local facility or speaking with current residents. It’s also helpful to remind them that aged care includes services that allow them to “age in place” — staying in their home with the support they need.

Remember to be tactful in your approach. Choose a time when your parent is in a good mood, and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and concerns. This will help you navigate any resistance and work together to find a solution that meets their needs.

Book a complimentary call with the Life Sumo team to get personalised advice based on your personal circumstances.

This provides general educational information only. The content does not take into account your personal objectives, financial situation, or needs. You should consider taking financial advice tailored to your personal circumstances. Life Sumo (Orion Enterprises (Cairns) Pty Ltd) has representatives that are authorised to provide personal financial advice.